I feel conflicted

frightened

that it will keep on escalating,

a bloodbath.

We all want peace,

I hate demonising

i’ve been keeping my head down

I don’t know who to talk to

I feel incoherent —

this is an incoherent situation

it shut down my raison d’être

seeing antisemitic graffiti

I have a tiny baby, a beautiful Jewish baby

I don’t feel safe at all.

A German colleague was horrified.

I have a non-Jewish partner;

No matter how hard I try

he’ll never truly understand.

I have to share

these have been the worst six weeks of my life.

Give your self space to come out of that spell.

The second intifada gets awoken.

Reconnecting to the Jewish wisdom of land rights

from a small farm

where there are no Jews.

I play the role of the mediator.

I want honour everyone’s suffering,

my grandparents were Holocaust survivors.

a feeling of betrayal,

a feeling of protection,

permanent grief.

There is a part of me that is sad

that the fear is being confirmed.

I feel in confusion,

wanting to hold the nuance,

acknowledging systemic complexity.

I was hesitating about speaking.

I have dreams of people looking

for the Jews.

I want to see her in her pain but I can’t.

I was hitting it but it wasn’t quite working.

I’ve not felt the same as everyone.

I did a lot of work and I don’t have answers

I am not triggered by Palestinian flags

I have been told I am not welcome in Israel

if i am going to live with Palestinians

I hear the fear.

I am not frightened

I am frightened

I don’t indulge my fear.

The integrity of powerlessness

is a myth,

I feel an unusual nervousness

about being in a Jewish space.

The safest I have felt is at

pro-Palestinian marches.

A tessellated Mogen Dovid.

My family is here because of the pogroms

my grandma was a Cohen.

I want to know safety

the solar energy

the earth energy

encoded in the

Mogen Dovid.

We so often don’t feel at home

I’ve stepped away from the Jewish community.

There is this thing called intergenerational trauma

and I may be suffering from it.

I am so about

humanity

and where our world is at

I feel shaken.

Maintaining hope is a discipline.

Tonight I am equally moved

by all your contributions.

I have feeling of not being seen.

This deafening silence.

Where is the invitation to have a voice?

Assembled by Daniel Eisenberg following the Oct/Nov Angels sessions.